How to set personal boundaries as a freelancer — and stick to them
I think we can agree as freelancers and business owners there are two main concepts that we seem to struggle with; burnout and boundaries. The two not only go hand in hand but to an extent, fuel each other. Then add the additional layer of a global pandemic into the mix and it’s easy to see how a lot of us came out of 2021 feeling utter exhaustion. That’s why setting boundaries in biz is at the top of my to-do list (and should be at the top of yours too).
By Emma Nolan.
Determined to not fall into the same ‘boundary breaking’ patterns I did last year, over the holiday period, I read Setting Boundaries by the ever so talented Dr Rebecca Ray, a clinical psychologist who helps “big-picture-thinking womxn entrepreneurs and creators live a life that’s fulfilling, unapologetic and free”. For business owners, time and energy are among our most precious assets, both of which are finite. Therefore, how we choose to leverage these assets is the deciding factor between whether we are setting ourselves up for burnout or longevity.
Something she discusses early on, is the concept of your ‘giving limits’. It’s hard to know where the line between kindness and burnout actually is, and unfortunately a lot of the time it takes crossing this boundary to acknowledge where this sits for you. When you find yourself avoiding certain tasks, and getting irritable when saying yes (because deep down you know you want to say no) you’ll know your ‘giving limit’ has been reached. Take note, this is when you’ll need to make an active change to ensure this doesn’t cross into burnout territory.
When we talk about work and boundaries, it’s important to consider the more subtle ways you may be breaking boundaries in day-to-day life. Granted, these will look different for everyone but here are some prompts to help you on your way.
Do you find yourself…
Checking emails at ungodly hours?
Skipping lunch breaks?
Constantly working?
Lowering prices and devaluing your worth?
Need I go on?
It’s typically only when we increase the lens of how we view boundaries that we can see just how many small ways we aren’t honouring ourselves and how quickly we could fall into a burnout spiral.
There’s no denying that setting boundaries ain’t an easy feat. When you’ve been in compromised patterns of behaviour, it can feel overwhelming to acknowledge and make change. But spoiler alert: if nothing changes, nothing changes. The more your boundaries are broken, the more likely burnout will creep in, leaving you with one extremely empty tank. And when this happens our home, work and social life suffers.
I’m making it my mission to find ways to reclaim my time (and energy) and make a clear shift in my priorities. How, you ask? These are the 4 pillars I’ll be using to help set my boundaries this year.
1 Honour my time
What I’ve come to realise is that it’s so much more than saying ‘no’. It’s about honouring our time (and mental capacity). In today’s world we are faced with so many personal and professional demands and time is precious. If you are not careful you will face exhaustion at best and become lost at worst. Make smart decisions about where your time is placed, and try not to compromise this under any circumstances.
My Tangible Actions: Removing email notifications from my phone. Clocking off at 4.30 to make the afternoon gym class. Try to avoid scheduling day-off meetings. Monthly self-care day (hello infrared sauna I’m coming for you).
2 Give myself space
We’ve been conditioned to think that busyness equals productivity which equals success. And in order to rest, we need to earn it. But, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. When we are busy running around answering a million emails, working with multiple clients and attempting to teach ourselves how to navigate the latest Facebook update, our brains subconsciously put on the blinkers. We’re then not able to look at the big picture and instead only concentrate on the most immediate (often low-value) tasks in front of us.
My Tangible Actions: No back-to-back meetings. Business ‘staycations’ to dedicate time to work on the biz. Calendered self-care days to do literally anything other than work.
3 Bring joy to the front
When we devote our time to ensure we are functioning in a way that serves us, we place ourselves in the perfect situation for growth. We’re able to sustain our energy, our creativity, our drive and we therefore thrive. A point that was beautifully reiterated by our own Che Johnson in January’s masterclass (for our Cool Wow members, log into the masterclass library to catch the replay).
My Tangible Actions: Lunch breaks in nature (as much as humanly possible), preferably with coffee and a book. Once a month take a spontaneous midday adventure. Introduce new hobbies.
4 Bust a move
No I’m not just talking about a dance party. There is a bucketload of research on the benefits of moving your body during the day. When my days feel hard, I’ll typically fight them aiming to ‘push through’ and get the work done regardless of my energy levels. However, this is typically when I fall into the procrastination trap where neither work or rest is completed. It’s amazing what a little serotonin boost can do for the body.
My Tangible Actions: Midday dance breaks, preferably with a little Taylor Swift. A walk around the block. Star-jumps. And if all that fails, refer to point 1, honour your time. Sometimes if it’s not working, it just ain’t working.
Over to you!
Now, go forth you good thing, and break that cycle. What boundaries will you bring into your biz this year? Let us know on this post over on Instagram @coolwowcollective so we can all keep each other accountable ;)
Written by Emma Nolan
A highly curious person by nature. Hates wearing shoes. Sometimes pens words on topics that spark passion, including the environment, self-development, and creative living. May or may not have an emotional attachment to her browser tabs. Connect @creativ.em.