Freelancer loneliness & how to beat it
Any freelancer will tell you they’ve felt lonely at one time or another. Working for yourself, by yourself, all of the time isn’t healthy. Here are 5 proven ways to beat the freelancer blues.
Loneliness is something that many freelancers will experience at some point in their career. While 93% of freelancers love being their own boss, 39% have experienced loneliness. This number rises to 54% for millennials aged 24-34.¹ It may seem like a trivial problem to have, but loneliness can lead to depression and other more serious health issues.
“Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely.” - Psychology Today
So why is working for yourself so damn lonely? As humans, we’re wired for connection. Finding a sense of belonging in a social setting was essential to our survival and is still vital to our happiness today.
When I started freelancing I never anticipated feeling so isolated. The high of pursuing my own dreams was dulled by doing it alone. There was no one to bounce ideas or celebrate wins with. I still had friends and family around, but they didn’t really get what I was experiencing.
If I look back on it I’m sure there were days where I didn’t even speak to a human being. I didn’t get fully depressed, but I can recognise now that there were days when that grey cloud hovered.
So how can we beat the freelancer blues? Here are some strategies I’ve picked up from my 5 years of freelancing in some form or another.
#1 Find your people
Community is something I undervalued when I first started freelancing. I was independent and happy to work away on my own. It felt like a delight compared to my office days. But later on I realised that I craved community.
Community is also a shortcut to growth both personally and professionally. But how do you find your tribe? There are so many ways, join Facebook groups, work from coworking spaces or attend live events. Unfortunately meeting people in person is not possible right now with COVID- 19, but online communities are on the rise.
I personally love memberships as a way to connect. With a membership, you know everyone has invested time and money to be there. This intention to learn, connect and grow can create magic. Since 2016 I’ve run a membership Cool Wow Collective especially for freelance creatives so we can navigate the freelancer experience together, learn more and see if this might be the right fit for you.
It can take some trial and error to find the right community, but don’t give up. Your community will help keep your sanity in check and act as a haven where you can grow and evolve.
#2 Outsource confidence
When you have one of those super low and lonely days, reach out to someone who can cheer you on. This might be a family member, a friend or a fellow freelancer. Let them know you just need to chat or vent and pour it out. Give yourself a time limit though, otherwise, it can bring you down. A healthy 5-minute rant works wonders. Often just verbalising thoughts will shake off the loneliness.
Choose a person who can be your cheerleader. They’re there to remind you of your unique skills and talents. Bonus points if this person has a good sense of humour! If no one comes to mind, you might look at finding a mastermind group or virtual coworking community that celebrates the wins and supports you through any rough patches. We love to celebrate wins in the Virtual Coworking Club, no matter how big or small.
#3 Stop scrolling start creating
One of my favourite ways to get out of a funk is to shut down social media and start creating. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has gone looking for connection through the screen. Sure scrolling will give you a quick dopamine hit, but it fades away pretty fast. You’ll soon be unconsciously comparing yourself to others and leave feeling worse than when you started.
I love this mantra by the savvy Marie Forleo, “Create before you consume.” Expressing yourself is a quick way to get out of a funk and feel more you (we all want that). Plus you’ll get a natural sense of satisfaction by doing something you are good at. So while scrolling through the ‘gram might feel like a quick fix for loneliness, it’s a trap. Start creating, let it flow and realign.
#4 One conversation a day
It’s easy to get absorbed in your work and not actually speak to anyone all day. Even when my partner is home I’ve missed actually talking to him due to a work deadline from time to time.
This hack is an easy way to beat loneliness. Simply choose someone each day to talk to. Pick up the phone or jump on a video call and have a chat outside of the inbox. It could be a simple check-in with a client or a lunch catch up with a friend. Make sure you talk to someone every single day and stick to it.
#5 Be of service
Whenever I do something that is of service to others, it instantly shifts my energy. If you’re feeling lonely, someone else is too, so reach out. I love sending positive voice notes to fellow freelancers checking in on them if I’ve seen they’ve been working late.
Even at events if there is someone standing alone I’ll go up to them to say hello, because we all know how crappy it feels to be that person. Basically, be a good human and you’ll not only shift your loneliness, but you’ll also help someone else shift theirs too. Win-win!
BONUS: Get a pet!!
This may not be possible for everyone, but pets are proven to boost happiness. Pets (especially dogs) offer great company; they don’t judge, they give you something to care for and give you a good reason to get outside. Animals of many types can help calm stress, fear and anxiety in young children, the elderly and everyone in between.
Conclusion
It’s totally normal to feel lonely when you work by yourself from home. But remember you are not alone. There are ways to make it less isolating. When reflecting on my list I realised 4/5 of these strategies are linked to CONNECTION (of the human or even animal kind).
Loneliness can lead to depression. Beyond Blue say that lonely Australians are 15.2% more likely to be depressed³. If you feel like your loneliness could be something more, please reach out for help. Call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 and talk to a trained mental health professional. They’re available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
And if you’re craving a high-vibes community that get what you’re going through, I invite you to explore and apply to join the Cool Wow Collective membership. Learn more here.
Over to you!
How do you make freelancing less lonely?
